Some individuals feel as though their reality is not under their control. They feel as though other individuals run their lives and have some position of control in whatever they did. When they take note of specific situations in which they feel this way and notice how ineffective they are with those situations. It’s interesting to observe that in every circumstance, there is always some manifestation of blame or the feeling of being second-guessed at every turn. Indeed, these are indications of surrendered control.
There are many ways that individuals can feel the loss of control in their lives. We can lose control through disappointment, exhaustion, stuck in a rut, being dormant, sickness, transformation, and pain. However, one of the most well-known is unknowingly surrendering control to others. This is the unconscious action involving one individual surrendering control to another individual.
As children, our parents exhibited their control and shaped our lives. These are the declarations and regulations displayed by authority, family, and friends that framed our convictions. On the other hand, some outside persuaders can re-establish that basic impulse for parental acknowledgement by infusing vulnerability into your reality. If you acknowledge the blame or the lack of confidence toward yourself placed upon you by others, your life is no longer yours but the reflection of another individual's personality or intentions. By being a participant in this, you begin to live by the regulations and control of others.
A familiar area in which this control issue happens is in a professional or dynamic group setting where power and control are absolutely critical. Many dominate individuals will take control of others basically by learning their behaviors, earning their trust, and after that implanting uncertainty or a feeling of not being accepted. In this way, the dominate one is now intentionally seen as the parent figure and the self-doubter requires acceptance from the dominator. The one that is dominating now controls the self-doubter. Sooner or later, the self-doubter grows to feel bitterness towards the dominator, but is generally uncertain as to the motivation behind it and why, but knows they do not appreciate the way they have been dealt with.
Once you fall into this situation, it is difficult to break free. You have to find your confidence and undo the entanglement of emotions and uncertainty that now clouds your reasoning. By separating your ego and emotions from the situation, you are more able to break free from the reins of surrendered control. But, it’s not so much that they have clear control over you as it is you are merely seeking their acceptance. The ideal way to keep such circumstances from happening is to experience making your own decisions and locate that parental voices if it is still present and remove it.
A young man, who has recently graduated from college and spending his time hanging out at a nearby bar, he is having difficulty making sense of what to do with his life. Both of his parents are deceased and he has no other family to speak of. Now he just waits for someone or something to get him emotionally involved. Because of this, he was easily deceived by individuals who gave him what he needed acceptance and direction. After much soul searching and developing, he started to make strides to improve his life and is gradually turning into an achiever in his own right. But, as you can see, these types of circumstances are very common and can occur anytime to anyone. Individuals have a tendency to sit and wait for acceptance and guidance from others because they surrendered control.
Live your own life by substituting the acceptance of others with your own principles for living. You will never acquire acceptance from everyone because the majority of individuals are out seeking acceptance as well. It is a cycle that will never end. Discover how to appreciate yourself as an individual. Remember that you are the only person who has an investment in your own determination and accomplishments for a satisfying life.
There are many ways that individuals can feel the loss of control in their lives. We can lose control through disappointment, exhaustion, stuck in a rut, being dormant, sickness, transformation, and pain. However, one of the most well-known is unknowingly surrendering control to others. This is the unconscious action involving one individual surrendering control to another individual.
As children, our parents exhibited their control and shaped our lives. These are the declarations and regulations displayed by authority, family, and friends that framed our convictions. On the other hand, some outside persuaders can re-establish that basic impulse for parental acknowledgement by infusing vulnerability into your reality. If you acknowledge the blame or the lack of confidence toward yourself placed upon you by others, your life is no longer yours but the reflection of another individual's personality or intentions. By being a participant in this, you begin to live by the regulations and control of others.
A familiar area in which this control issue happens is in a professional or dynamic group setting where power and control are absolutely critical. Many dominate individuals will take control of others basically by learning their behaviors, earning their trust, and after that implanting uncertainty or a feeling of not being accepted. In this way, the dominate one is now intentionally seen as the parent figure and the self-doubter requires acceptance from the dominator. The one that is dominating now controls the self-doubter. Sooner or later, the self-doubter grows to feel bitterness towards the dominator, but is generally uncertain as to the motivation behind it and why, but knows they do not appreciate the way they have been dealt with.
Once you fall into this situation, it is difficult to break free. You have to find your confidence and undo the entanglement of emotions and uncertainty that now clouds your reasoning. By separating your ego and emotions from the situation, you are more able to break free from the reins of surrendered control. But, it’s not so much that they have clear control over you as it is you are merely seeking their acceptance. The ideal way to keep such circumstances from happening is to experience making your own decisions and locate that parental voices if it is still present and remove it.
A young man, who has recently graduated from college and spending his time hanging out at a nearby bar, he is having difficulty making sense of what to do with his life. Both of his parents are deceased and he has no other family to speak of. Now he just waits for someone or something to get him emotionally involved. Because of this, he was easily deceived by individuals who gave him what he needed acceptance and direction. After much soul searching and developing, he started to make strides to improve his life and is gradually turning into an achiever in his own right. But, as you can see, these types of circumstances are very common and can occur anytime to anyone. Individuals have a tendency to sit and wait for acceptance and guidance from others because they surrendered control.
Live your own life by substituting the acceptance of others with your own principles for living. You will never acquire acceptance from everyone because the majority of individuals are out seeking acceptance as well. It is a cycle that will never end. Discover how to appreciate yourself as an individual. Remember that you are the only person who has an investment in your own determination and accomplishments for a satisfying life.